I have used Affairs Ltd for 3 years and I have met many, many ladies.
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Dave from East Yorkshire
I was so shy at first, who would have thought I would do something
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Julie from Glasgow
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Advice After an Affair
Can the heart ever trust again after it has been crushed? Can a couple
look at this time as a way of becoming even closer than they had ever
been? Can there be romance after an affair? If both parties concerned
are willing to work it out, the answers to these questions are, "Yes!"
In an age where the chances of getting a divorce are higher than staying
together, the likelihood of infidelity is greater than ever. But why
become a statistic, when there is the chance of recovering what once
was and possibly finding something even greater? Below are a few steps
and ideas to help you make sense of your situation and find your way
back to each other.
First Step: Getting The Facts
You will need to share with each other the truth about
the events that have happened. Don't go into explicit details; just stick
to the general facts. If you do not tell the entire truth to your partner
about events surrounding the affair, your chances of repairing your relationship
are greatly diminished. This step is very important if for no other reason
than it helps you both get everything off your chest. You can finally
release all the fear of discovery or other emotions you may be feeling.
Sometimes the challenge of trying to tell your partner face-to-face about
the events can seem too difficult to confront. If this is the case, try
exchanging letters to each other instead. Make sure you set a specific
time to exchange the letters, read them and then talk about them directly
Second Step: Acknowledging Each Other
By now your emotions are probably at an all-time high.
The road of infidelity is not an easy one to cross. If you can recognize,
understand and acknowledge what each other is feeling and going through,
your path will become a lot easier. Again this step can be done face-to-face,
or through a letter exchange. You'll want to make sure you let each other
know that, while things are far from perfect, you're both willing and
wanting to make this relationship work.
Third Step: Moving On
I think the most important step regarding moving on
is to realize that things will never go back to the way they used to be.
The reward for moving on is not getting back what once was, but rather
finding something even more special and rewarding. Another point to remember
is that many couples never find their way through this type of betrayal.
It takes a special bond and inner strength as a couple to get through
it. Neither person can do it alone. To get yourselves on the right path
you will need to make some kind of agreement about your future actions,
like a couple's mission statement or doctrine. For instance, on separate
sheets of paper for each person write what you will promise to do and
not do. Share your papers and add and remove statements as needed. Finally,
create one inclusive list of what you both will agree to adhere to.
Fourth Step: Letting Go
It is important to remember that because a partner may
have wronged you, they do not owe you anything. Likewise, if you have
committed the infidelity, you cannot expect your partner to have instant
faith in you. Your faith in each other will have to be earned. Forgiveness
and understanding are crucial elements to recovering your faith. Holding
onto negative emotions from the past doesn't help safeguard your heart
against another possible act of infidelity. In reality, it creates a larger
gap in a relationship that at this time more than ever needs unconditional
affection and love.
After An Affair: Checklist
Can your relationship be repaired?
by Jennifer Good!
Even with the best of intentions you may be not be emotionally
ready to confront the events that have transpired. Use this checklist
to help determine if your relationship can be repaired.
When you think about the events that have happened you
find yourself more resentful towards your partner.
If you answered yes to this question, take some time to determine why
this is the case. Have you told the truth about everything? Are you holding
on to emotions you don't need to? Do you feel unacknowledged about something?
Are you trying to make your partner feel as bad as you do? Be honest with
yourself when looking for your answers. You will need to come to terms
with your feelings before you can move forward.
You feel that your partner may not be telling you everything.
A yes answer to this indicates a lack of trust, or a lack of honesty.
In either case you'll need to resolve why you feel this way before you
can begin to repair your relationship.
You don't feel you'll be able to trust your partner again.
Trust is a crucial element to any relationship. If you can't find a way
to rebuild the trust, you won't find a way to rebuild your relationship.
Recognize this and let your partner know. At this time your paths may
be meant to go in different directions.
This is not the first time you have experienced infidelity
with this partner.
While a first break in trust can be overlooked, and eventually repaired,
a pattern of mistrust is something that needs a closer evaluation. Don't
set yourself up for a cycle of emotional abuse because you are unwilling
to let this person go.
Your partner does not wish to make amends.
No matter how much history you have in this relationship, if a partner
does not want to be involved don't get caught up in the trap of trying
to bring them back. Talk with each other about the reasons, and if they
are still intent on leaving, let them go. You never want to be in a situation
where one person doesn't love the other with the same commitment.
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The chance of a married woman having an affair is highest within the first
five years and falls off gradually with time. Men have two high-risk
phases, one during the first five years of marriage and, the second,
after the 20th year.
30% Of online relationships evolve into real-world affairs. A
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Studies find that more than one in five men do have an affair,
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In a survey 98 percent of men and 80 percent of women surveyed reported
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