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Affairs Navigationhome / Extramarital Affairs News / philanderer news / Every office is a rumor millextramarital affairs news

Philanderer News

Every office is a rumor mill
Management honesty can help control the chatter

Paul Haze doesn't mind starting a rumor when he sees the telltale signs that something is afoot at work. So a few years back, when the software engineer noticed bean counters taking inventory, he felt obligated to tell fellow workers the company would be sold. "Three months later," he says, "we had a merger."

He had asked his manager what was up. But the boss said he hadn't heard anything. Still, it was a sign Haze couldn't ignore and a story he couldn't resist telling. "You get the scoop first!" he says.

Meet your colleagues in the grapevine department, rumor and gossip. They can have a big effect on the bottom line. Managers know it, but they just roll their eyes, decline to comment and demand to know who started such nonsense.

Too often, it's managers who trigger a speculation fest. Untrusting of employees, they withhold the facts and let them fill in the blanks. "If employees don't have a definite explanation from management," says Haze, "they tend to interpret it themselves."

Psychologists say rumors are part of our innate search for meaning. "They're hypotheses in general circulation that have run amok," says Ralph Rosnow, a former professor of psychology at Temple University. He started studying rumors in 1969, when the rumor surfaced that Paul McCartney had been decapitated. (He hadn't.)

Rumors really fly when at least two conditions are met: high degrees of anxiety and lots of uncertainty. Then two basic kinds of rumors -- wish rumors and dread rumors -- emerge, says Rosnow.

Rumors typically are hypotheses with potential widespread impact. Gossip, on the other hand, usually is presented as fact, and tends to be more about people.

Gossip flourishes, research shows, in organizations where members are highly competitive and someone could benefit from tainting a rival.

Alidad Vakili, a 35-year-old attorney in San Diego, witnessed such a character assassination firsthand. Someone anonymously sent a letter to his friend's superiors last year alleging his friend was a philanderer, liar and thief. "It's a little like being indicted for a crime," says Vakili. "There will still be a lot of people who will see that person as the criminal they may never have been."

Still, the grapevine is more important than managers think, says Allan J. Kimmel, a marketing professor at ESCP business school in Paris and author of "Rumors and Rumor Control." In moderation, it can be used to influence decisions, vent feelings to relieve stress, signal status or power, nurture cohesiveness, and translate job tasks and policies into understandable language, he says.

Management often underestimates the power of the grapevine. According to a recent survey commissioned by professional employment services firm Randstad, only 17 percent of employers think workers get their information from the grapevine, while nearly half of all employees credit it with first bringing the message of major company changes.

When Meghan De Golyer Hauser worked for one company, the grapevine said the boss drank on the job, the accountant was stealing and a co-worker was a nude model. "The rumors," she says, "all turned out to be true."

Big companies have had to learn the hard way just how powerful the grapevine can be. Procter & Gamble, for example, had to deal with outrageous rumors in the 1980s that it was funneling cash to a church of devil-worshipers. People, holding its logo up to the mirror, "found" hidden 666s, the so-called mark of the devil. P&G phased out the logo, hired additional staff to handle consumer letters, mass-mailed to churches and sued the rumor spreaders.

Microsoft is another persistent rumor victim: that it's moving to Vancouver, buying the Vatican, and giving $5,000 and a trip to Disneyland to everyone who tries its software. "That (last) one I deal with every 18 months -- I swear, every 18 months," says Mark Murray, director of pubic relations.

To quell rumors and gossip, company brass has to talk. It has to be timely and honest. "If they don't come through with their promises, or they communicate the full story ineffectively," says Kimmel, "they have themselves to blame."

If bosses wait too long, their efforts look like feeble attempts at damage control. If they gloss over it, they will have less credibility than the mongerers.

Full Credit For This Story Goes To: indystar.com


 

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A married woman's likelihood of having an affair is highest in the first five years.

The chance of a married woman having an affair is highest within the first five years and falls off gradually with time. Men have two high-risk phases, one during the first five years of marriage and, the second, after the 20th year.

30 Percent Of Online Relationships Evolve Into Real-World Affairs. A staggering nine out of ten women in relationships flirt with other men on a regular basis

30% Of online relationships evolve into real-world affairs. A staggering nine out of ten women in relationships flirt with other men on a regular basis.

Studies find that more than one in five men do have an affair, at least once in their lives, and that women are now about as likely as men to cross the line.

Studies find that more than one in five men do have an affair, at least once in their lives, and that women are now about as likely as men to cross the line.

In a survey 98 percent of the men and 80 percent of the women reported having a sexual fantasy about someone other than their partner at least once in the previous two months.

In a survey 98 percent of men and 80 percent of women surveyed reported having a sexual fantasy about someone other than their partner at least once in the previous two months. Bet it's higher!

 

 

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